Here’s the new year wish for everyone: Peace, joy, prosperity and fun in the year to head.
And Then There Are The Resolutions
You always make new years resolutions. And by January 15th, you have forgotten them. If you are lucky, you keep one, maybe, and then we forget that by February. Humans by and large have small attention spans. You live by quick cuts, one liners and turn our attention in seconds to the next stimulating visual or audible cue. So uncool. So unproductive.
F.W. Robertson, a 19th century English preacher wrote:
Truth is given not to be contemplated, but to be done. Life is an action, not a thought.”
So if you want to make a changes in life, how do we do it? Take action. Are you kidding? Of course, I take action. How to you think I live my life. Are you sure? Do you just think about the action or do you take it? If you’re honest, you simply just think about it.
Maybe if you wake up every day, one day at a time and make an intention to do the most important thing – something that lights our fire, creates positive energy, brings joy and satisfaction, fulfills a need – you can actually make that thought an action. It’s all about making an intention. An intention is made for a short time as opposed to a goal, which is about thinking long term. Tuck those goals away in your dresser drawer for awhile and focus on the intention – the one intention for the day – and we won’t just talk about a change. We’ll be doing it!
What I’m getting at is coping to the large elephant in the room: resistance. The reason why you just talk about a change and don’t do it is because of resistance. And because of resistance – that psychological defense mechanism that causes you to reject, deny or otherwise oppose action- the life you live on the outside or the unlived life on the inside (your passions and your dreams) never gets fulfilled.
I’ve been attending a tango festival for this new years weekend and for some reason I’m the go-to person for a few friends of mine – mostly men – who want to talk to me about their unfulfilled lives. They are sad. They make me sad, too, but what I feel is an overriding resistance to making change. I think the phrase is being stuck in life, unable to move forward. Making the change is way hard. Even thinking about the change is way hard. Days go by, weeks go by, months and even a year goes by without doing it. That’s when people give up. That’s when time stands still and the journey stops.
And that’s really boring because resistance allows us to make endless excuses not to do what we really want to do: I’m too busy today, I’m too old, I’m to young, I’m too fat, I need a nap, I’ll do it tomorrow. I don’t know anyone in the book club, my wife won’t let me go without her, my huband will get mad. I may have plans, I have to do my laundry, I know this is the wrong woman for me but I’m hoping things get better. I don’t like Mozart, modern art is a bore, I don’t drive more than 30 miles outside of Los Angeles.
Do these excuses sound familiar? Maybe this is n’t you. Maybe you know someone like that. Maybe a friend?
Our new years resolutions should be translated in a daily intentions. That mantra reminds us to live in the present, to be conscious and mindful of our daily activities. The future is an illusion. It’s about today.
That’s why I’m signing up for a 6 week stand up comedy course right after new years. I’ve been talking about for years (I did take a class in free range comedy at UCLA extension 2 years ago but that only scratched the surface) so my intention when I wake up on Wednesday morning, January 2nd,2013 is to do it! Girls just want to have fun!
Happy, happy, New Year!