Speaking your truth will surely piss some people off and that’s a good thing. It’s time now, in your boomer years, to live your life the way you want to – with honesty, reason and kindness.
You’ve spent the better part of your life being truthful, patient, compassionate, and loving. And you will always be that person. On the other hand, holding back your truth when it’s necessary to speak is not going to be healthy for your personal growth and transformation.
The Power of Speaking Your Truth
At the moment you start speaking your truth, you become more powerful than you can possibly imagine because when you speak the truth you start believing in yourself. Of course, everyone thinks they believe in self. Taught from a young age to be authentic – be you, believe in yourself – it is common to think that we, gosh darn, are a one woman/man powerhouse. Think deeper, clearer and more profoundly and ask yourself: Are you really free enough to piss people off?
Speaking your truth comes from knowing who you are, from self-knowledge, and knowing your purpose in life. Your purpose is something you do. It’s something you are called to become. And, as with many things in life, achieving your purpose can sometimes take a lifetime of practice.
The following are five reflections that might inspire you to practice speaking your truth.
You Are Not Responsible for Other People’s Feelings
Most of the time you will not speak your truth because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. That’s natural and oftentimes a good practice, depending on the time and circumstances of the dialogue. However, there are important and immediate situations in which you need to put forth your belief for clarification or conviction.
If you hurt a person’s feelings, please be patient until they figure out how to respond. I do this with my adult children from time to time, and even my daughters-in-law. Family truths are sometimes the most difficult to truths to speak.
By Speaking Your Truth, You Will Frequently Piss Someone Off
Please don’t take their attacks at you personally. It’s really not about you. It’s about them. In psychology, it is called transference. A person transfers their emotions to you, accusing you of possessing what they are feeling. Take a step back to assess and find your balance in mind, body and spirit. This is when I usually walk out of the room and pick up the conversation when everyone is less defensive.
Love and Trust People Enough to Let Them Learn Their Own Life’s Lessons
It is not necessary to push your truth onto someone else. And it’s not your job to fix anyone. However, it is your disposition to speak your truth when necessary to a person in conflict or to a person who plainly asks you what you think and how you feel.
Simple example: One of my daughters-in-law asked me what dining table I liked better. I selected the one I thought was more graceful and beautifully designed. Before she asked my opinion, she told me she had already ordered the other one. Within 10 minutes, she reviewed her decision and changed her order. I wasn’t concerned with hurting her feelings. She found her own truth and moved forward.
Intuition Is the Highest Form of Intelligence We Have
In yoga, intuition is called paying attention to your Third Eye – that space in the middle of your forehead between the brows that allows you to see the light, the truth in front of you more clearly. Your Third Eye keeps you conscious and allows you to move truthfully into situations that require your full honesty and integrity.
I sometimes see my sons in pain, or hurt, and I use my intuition (my truth) to ask important questions that may piss them off, yet, in the end, my truth helps them resolve their situation.
Never Give Your Power Away
Your truth is your power; so never give your power away to anyone else for any reason. Another way of framing this idea is that, to remain fully conscious in your life, it is important to speak your truth, which in turn, increases self-knowledge. Granted, sharing your truth takes a leap of faith; however, only then can you learn and know the doing of your purpose.
It’s Better to Live a Hard Truth than a Beautiful Lie
When you don’t tell the truth are you really lying? Yes and no. You may be teetering on the edge of proffering your hard truth and then covering it up with a beautiful lie because someone may be hurt.
This is the kind of indecisiveness that drives the universe crazy because the universe is constantly trying to guide you through signs, symbols and synchronicity. The universe gives you the energy to create thoughts and emotions that create your truth as well as a reality under your control and nobody else’s.
Follow this mantra and all will be well: Speak the truth and keep the peace with yourself and others.
As published in Sixty and Me, April 2017