Hi, Boomers,
Enough fighting and crying! Enough holding on to things that are no longer! Let’s talk about how to manage change. Let’s talk about your awakening. I’m riding my horse today. It’s going to get a little sweaty out there on the lonely, dusty plains.
I opine that it’s human nature to struggle. We’re just not happy being happy. Sounds a bit cynical, I know, but how many people do you know who are perfectly content being miserable. Most of them. It’s a comfort zone – struggling and being completely content about it. The Buddhists say we are born with all the happiness we will ever need in life, but we just screw it up royally as grow older. Think of the happy child, the innocence before corruption, the purity before the darkness falls. Wonder for a few minutes how our lives have played out without the light shinning through our being. How darkness fills us with toxic negativity and keeps us from action, keeps us from growth and transformation, and keeps us from awakening. We get stuck in the mire of our own struggle.
Time to change up the game plan.
The interesting characteristic about change is that hope is the inherent ingredient involved. One has to be hopeful in order to change. What obfuscates change is fear. Hope and fear. An interesting pairing. The yin and the yang. Opposing forces of action. Just the thought of change produces anxiety; we fear loss. It upsets our creature comfort zone. But change is always with us. Way back in 500 BC, a Greek philosopher by the name of Heraclitus said “there is nothing permanent in life except change.”
The way to perceive change is to think of it as an awakening – an awakening to a newness going on in life. Life isn’t perfect; there is no guarantee of security; there is no prince charming and you are not Cinderella; not everyone will like you or approve of you or accept you for who you are. We know this but we don’t really like to accept it. So the awakening holds the possibility of acceptance of who we are and deriving confidence from that reality.
If we are at all honest, our struggle comes from other people’s perception of us and our perception of others. Everyone harbors resentments, collect injustices, and get angry at seemingly personal insults that are not that important in the scheme of our lives. And, then, of course, we love to blame. Blame is limiting and a very negative way to go through life; in fact, blame is truly just a survival mechanism at its bare minimum level. Blame is one of the characteristics that inhibits change, blocks us from moving forward, and dealing with the unexpected. If we can accept the accepting, that’s when we are able to learn to stand on our own two feet.
The opposite of acceptance is resistance. Resistance is the most toxic force on the planet and to move through resistance we have to harness the power of resilience. Resistance is the enemy within us because it hacks away at the life unlived, a life without fulfillment. Resistance takes away our energy, stifles ingenuity, and obliterates creativity. When we contemplate resilience, we think about our ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change or to cope with adversity and stress. Where do we find the energy to do that? Accepting everything that happens in life is one way. Giving gratitude for all that we have in our lives is another.
It’s time to get off my horse. I’m carrying enough weight in my life and I need to lighten my saddle bags and see the path. Abu Said, a famous 14th century Sufi poet in the Persian Empire said it best: “Take one step away from yourself – and behold the path!”
Awakening is just around the corner.
Namaste
Joan